Pornhub Presents Philly Cops Crisco Various For Tremendous Bowl Prep

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A porn web site is providing the Metropolis of Brotherly Love a serving to hand.

Bracing for enormous celebrations Sunday with the Eagles within the Tremendous Bowl, Philadelphia introduced it won’t use Crisco once more to thwart rioting followers from climbing avenue lights, so Pornhub is providing two 55-gallon barrels of lubricant to make use of as an alternative.

Police Commissioner Richard Ross stated this week they received’t use Crisco as a result of it didn’t work the final time. Previous to the NFC title recreation, “Crisco Cops” slathered grease on phone poles and avenue lights, however some followers nonetheless managed to scale the poles as crowds chanted, “F–k that grease!”

Ross stated they’ll use one thing stronger this weekend for crowds they count on to be thrice greater — however they aren’t saying what.

“Relaxation assured, no matter we do, will probably be secure to anyone, any animal, any baby, something, however will probably be efficient,” he stated. “I can not let you know that there will not nonetheless be makes an attempt, however I simply would suspect that a few of them can be far tougher than they have been with the Crisco makes an attempt.”

Pornhub VP Corey Value thinks he has the reply.

“As evidenced by our breast and testicle most cancers prevention and consciousness campaigns, each well being and security are crucial to us at Pornhub,” he stated. “So, after we bought phrase that Crisco wasn’t efficiently protecting rowdy Philly followers from climbing avenue indicators and visitors lights, which may be very harmful, we thought we may assist by providing our lube. We figured, if we’re capable of efficiently ‘grease the poles’ of hundreds of Pornhub followers throughout the globe, why not assist out the great folks of Philly!”

The web site made its preliminary supply in a tweet Wednesday, to which the Philadelphia Police account responded with a “double facepalm” meme, “for when one facepalm doesn’t reduce it.”

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